Do you know how I know he loves me?

He gave me a dozen roses and 4 very sharp knives.

That is love.

Pretty flowers and Henkels knives.

No mistake about it.

Nothing better

than a homemade gift.

I made these for my LMF for Valentine's Day this year.

I have previously abhorred this Hallmark holiday on principle and then because I was either single or in a shitty relationship.

This year, I can say that neither hold true for me.

Fire Alarms

Snow again this weekend... I am so done with winter.

This was the third weekend in a row that we have had winter weather descend upon us. I am thankful that we didn't get much accumulation this weekend. The storm before was a slushy, soggy mess. And the first weekend had me stuck, over night at work.

I talked to both my LMF and Leo that night that I spent stranded at work. LMF and I wistfully wishing away the snow so we could spend the last weekend before he lest for nearly two weeks in Europe together.

Leo and I wistfully discussing the last time there was enough snow to shut Asheville down...

The weekend before Christmas...

LMF, myself and Leo... snowed in together. My eldest cub with us as well. Keeping us all in check.
An interesting mix.

No one expected the 14 inches of snow that accumulated that first day.

I made enough food for an army. The libations flowed like... well, like water.

We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Flirtation abounded. Touching Leo in front of LMF for the first time sent shivers of electricity through me. Kissing LMF in front of Leo - delightful.

As the night drew to a close, we all said our good nights as Leo settled onto the couch as travel was impossible. LMF and I went upstairs to my bedroom. My eldest son in the room down the hall. We snuggled in and started to drift to sleep...

When a BLARING alarm vibrated through the entire house.

My fire alarm went off because of the dryer overheating the room it was in.
I shot out of bed wearing this exact same outfit. Turning off the dryer, opening a window to allow the cold winter air to flood into the room and end the relentless blaring of the hardwired alarms that run through my home.

Everyone back to their appointed beds.
I walked down my stairs, to my living room. To Leo, who sat upright on the couch. His eyes shone with desire as he took in what little I was wearing. I sat next to him. Asked him if he was okay sleeping on the couch. He assured me he was. I leaned into him with an awkward sideways embrace which led to a kiss as I turned into his body.

Heat rising up off of us threatened to set off the fire detectors all over again.

Mirrored faces

Leo and I "consummated" our relationship as soon as we could.

It was a dizzying experience for me. He out paced me with his voracious appetite for sex, for providing pleasure, devouring me. I never had been outpaced like that before. 

After our third go round that day, I begged for mercy, for a break, for a NAP! Which he granted me. 

We woke with 2 hours left before reality would come crashing down upon us and force us from our refuge of my bed...

Slowly he began to caress my body, taking time to find and explore the most sensitive of part. Trailing down my shoulder, nibbling and kissing my arm he found the sweet spot on the inside of my elbow. Pinning me with surprising strength he held me down with his fingertips pressing into my flesh. Leaving behind tiny bruises that I would become very fond of in the coming weeks. 

Loving the fact he was a biter.

4 individual sets of bruises trailing down my arm marked the time where I hissed at him to bite me harder.

My hips were his favorite though. He nuzzled and kissed, licked and bit me gently... and then on a dime he suppressed my every movement with his fierce hold on  my hips. Fingers digging into my flesh at my hip. Hitting nerves that sent jolts of pain and pleasure that I had never experienced prior. Feeling the forces of a powerful orgasm building within me before he even touched my clit.

He entered me and fucked me at such an angle that I knew I was going to squirt. His hands still digging into my hips. Unable to hold back, I gushed all over the two of us. Drenching the sheets and bed.

And then he looked up at me. 

His eyes. Dark marbles framed by his expressive face.  Devoid of any expression other than complete and utter lust. 

Mirrored in my own face. 

And so it was

Shortly after the TV date night, my relationship was formally re-opened. 

So the conversation between my LMF and myself ensued.

It lasted days. 

In the midst of the on going negotiation of what we were comfortable with and what we were not, a date for the three of us - my LMF, Leo and myself. A dessert date, snuggle up on the couch and watch a some tv...

LMF and I had dinner before to try to finish the conversation but it seemed like at that point we were talking different languages and not able to see the common ground. Our relationship was on the verge of opening back up but the last pieces to make us both feel comfortable were still missing. 

Dinner was cleaned up, the mancubs were ushered to bed and we waited Leo to make his way to my house. 

I was nervous. This would be the first time that LMF and Leo would occupy the same space in a months time. And what a month it had been. Leo had gone from a new acquaintance to the object of my desire in that month. Everyone knew the desires of one another. Everyone knew that the relationship between LMF and I was going through a transition period. Everyone was walking on proverbial eggshells because of it. 

LMF was in the kitchen when Leo knocked on the door. My heart skipped as I was about to welcome a man I had deep desires for into my home. He stood on the front porch, wearing a thin cashmere sweater, soft to the touch, heavenly to draw close to my body when we hugged one another. Again I found myself pressing my entire body to his. Feeling his lean frame against me, his hips jutting into my side. His arms wrapped around me, wanting to melt into him...

and then to be drawn back to reality in the same moment. 

Pulling away from him.

LMF and Leo made their greetings to one another. We all agreed a drink was in order as Leo had brought over spirits. I smiled at their exchange. Easy with one another although I could sense that Leo was a bit nervous. Like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, I knew he was unsure of his place within the dynamic. And as if he sensed it too, LMF was a bit more assertive than normal.

And I felt like a friggin' ping pong ball. Wanting to be with them both. Wanting to hug and caress one and then walk over and lay a lingering kiss on the other. Not tonight. Not yet.

We settled onto the couch. LMF on the left, Leo on the right. 

And to try to avoid the feeling of being torn I sat on the floor. Not unusual for me since I am just as happy on the floor with a couple of throw pillows as I am on a chair or couch. But I was trying to evade their combined and competing energy. So like a stubborn child, I sat on the floor. Insisting that I was fine when they both tried to cajole me up off the floor and to sit on the couch. To sit between them. I insisted that I was FINE!  I was comfortable. Though I wasn't. The floor was cold. I was sitting on the bare wood so I kept sliding as I was wearing comfortable yet very slippery lounging pants. My ass was soon asleep from siting in the awkward position I had been.

Soon I acquiesced to their invitations to join them on the couch and tried to find that happy medium between these two me I desired. I wound up with leaning against my LMF and tucking my feet into Leo's lap. Hypersensitive to the smallest touch or caress by one another.  

The CD failed. Leo went up stairs to the bathroom and I went to retrieve my laptop so we could stream the last episode from my laptop. In the hallway we met. The air vibrated with anticipation. the space between us quickly closed. Another embrace. I grabbed his belt loops pulling him even closer to me. So close. Face to face. Staring into one another's eyes, sharing the same air, the same breath... Attraction heightened. To the point of frenetic lust.

I pushed him away with a whimper... knowing that I was already pushing the limits. That I needed to reign myself in. I collected myself and my laptop and went back downstairs to be sandwiched between their energy again. 

This time, because LMF had already seen the whole episode, I leaned against Leo with my feet in LMF's lap. We watched the conclusion of the show. LMF had fallen asleep. I dared not move. Not wanting to disturb him nor wanting to leave Leo's embrace.

I knew that this was going to be okay, that somehow, someway I was going to have both of these men in my life... 

and in my bed.