While you were away...

Someone from the back seat of my van made a sexual innuendo towards me. Quickly an apology of sorts was issued to my boyfriend and I laughed it off letting everyone know that I was in an open relationship. More laughter ensued and the night continued.

That was the first night that I met Leo.

Time went on and for our own reasons, LMF and I closed our relationship to shore up our foundation. To make sure that we were both on the same page.

So Leo and I begin to talk to one another. I was happy to have a new friend. We had many similarities and yet the differences were complimentary of one another.

He came to visit me over the Thanksgiving break while my LMF was away. And what happened with Leo was something I had never imagined.

The attraction was palpable.

HOLY SHIT

I was attracted to another man. For the first time in the history of my open relationship (save my Imported Goods), I was drawn to another man. The entire year that our relationship was open I had pursued other women. I felt as though my LMF had satisfied my need for the maleness in my life, I had wanted to add the feminine.
He was sitting in my home, at the bar in my kitchen... and I was thankful for the counter top between us. The conversation sometimes light and playful. Sometimes heavy with sexual tension. Sometimes deep with serious content... but the attraction always present.

Our hello and goodbye hugs were growing longer. No longer a perfunctory act, they had heightened to a full body contact embrace where I became acutely aware of his breath. The form of his body. The feel of his hand pressed against my back.

Chastising myself in the same moment.

I was no longer in an open relationship.

Something had to change...