Smooth

Every once in a while I sumbit.

Totally and completely I present myself for her inspection. 

I lie nude, prone and wait for the heat of the wax to be drizzled upon my body.

And then she rips it off.

And I breathe.

And she does it again and again...

And I breathe and moan slightly and try not to fidget.

Over and over until I am as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Well.... at least my legs are.

And to keep me on my toes, she went a little higher than usual this last time.

She waxed my ass.

Not that my ass needed to be waxed, I barely grow any hair above my knees... but god damn if this doesn't feel good.  I have found myself playing with my ass just to feel the velvety smoothness of my own skin.

She said it was something luxious and exotic feeling. She was right.

I just wish it were a bit warmer so I could wear a slinky dress and enjoy the feeling of the smoothness with every movement.

In my head...

In his basement, he's working on my computer. New graphic card. I'm sitting on the bar stool drinking a beer. 

Both of us quiet. There is nothing more that needs to be said. We've said it all. 

He walks over to me and roughly grabs my face and starts kissing me. I push him away. The time for this has passed. If you didn't want all of me, you can't have any of me is what is screaming in my head. 

I ask him what the fuck he's doing... he answers that we both want it. And he's on me again.

The feel of his lips on mine, the way that he grabs a handful of my hair lifting my head to meet his kiss. I want to resist. I want to tell him no. I want to stop... but really I don't. I want this and more.

I push back at him. He's up against his work station, I drop to my knees. I can feel his cock hard through his jeans. In a second his pants are a puddle around his ankles. Like times before I tease him and make him moan with my mouth. He's getting close. I stop and grab his cock and squeeze him hard. He looks down at me and grins.

It's his turn to push at me. I am back on the bar stool, my skirt is bunched up around my waist and he is returning the favor. He starts by gingerly darting his tongue around my clit. Barely more than a whisper. He slides one finger into my already wet pussy. I gasp in approval as he starts working his second finger inside of me while his tongue grows more bold. I feel the waves of the orgasm start rolling over me long before I peak. It was like I came for 3 solid minutes. 

As the last bits of my orgasm fade, he raises up and starts worshipping my breasts. His fingers still inside of me, he now plays with my clit with his thumb as he hungrily sucks at my tits. Again I a cresting at the peak of another orgasm... as I cry out that I am going to cum, he slams his cock into me. I cum immediately. 

I shake violently as he fucks me...

He picks me up, cupping my ass and moves me over to the computer work station. I slide off the edge of the table and instead of trying to jump back up, I turn around and present my ass to him. He groans in his approval as he plunges again into my pussy while teasing my ass.

My eyes are closed... I am trying to find my bearings. I can barely feel him behind me. I am totally floating. I arch my back to meet him but he's not there anymore.

I open my eyes and I realize I am on my couch.

Snuggled underneath a blanket, watching a movie.

I had nodded off and dreamt of sex... with him.

For Avena and Hawker

Just thought you two would like this.

Much love!

Finding my bearings

So, I'm single again.

What the hell do I do with myself?

There is a part of me that wants to be wild and crazy.

There is a part of me that wants to be a hermit and withdraw from all social activities.

There is a part of me that abhors the idea of dating.

There is a part of me that things that being a unicorn would be a lovely idea.

And there is a larger part of me that wants to stop compartmentalizing my life. 

For my entire relationship with LMF, I kept my kids out of it. 

I am thankful I did because I don't know how I would be dealing with things had the mancubs become attached to him and would now be  questioning why he wasn't around any more ... but with every part of my social life I have not involved my children. They barely know those I call my friends. 

Partly because I am super protective of my cubs and don't let just anyone in their lives, partly because it's just inappropriate to bring a kid out to the bar (!), and partly because I wanted time for me.

There is more to Rapunzel than the oversexed (soon to be undersexed) nymphomaniac though.

First and foremost I am a bad ass mother bear.

From now on I think I need to balance my time with my cubs and friends more equally. Yes, I want to have nights of wild and crazy fun but I think many of my friends would also be open to a tater gun shoot out and pot luck lunch at the homestead. 

And if they aren't... they can go fuck themselves.

Lustful wantings

Where is my sugar daddy when I need one?





How perfect would my phoenix look framed in the back of this vintage inspired dress? I have the perfect T-strap Mary Janes to go with the dress. Just not the $125 to shell out for the dress itself!

:::sigh:::

The last goodbye

He came over last night. I was in the middle of homework and barely looked up from my writtings until I was damn well finished. He layed on the floor trying not draw attention to himself.

Once I was done, we talked briefly. I cried. Tried to make sense of things but how do you make sense of the hurt of betrayal? Coupled with the sadness of knowing even without the betrayal the relationship was over?

I told him to get the fuck out or just to fuck me... but either way he was leaving.

The familiarness of one another's presensce and skin was unbearable. 

Our movements were fluid and the known responsees from just the right touch, the teeth across my neck, fingers seeking the tenderest spots, lips against one another hungrily...

He tried to pull me on top of him and I resisted. I grabbed the lube and coated his cock, working it until he made me stop. The feeling of knowing I could make him cum so quickly because I know exactly how to touch him... powerful.

Again he urged me to climb on top of him, I denied him. And made my demand of him.

He obliged.

Slick with lubricant, I came hard and long as almost his entire hand filled me.

I then fucked him and came 2 more times.

He moaned, "This feels so good" and I gyrated my hips against hist body. I amgrily answered, "It always has", and thrust more forcefully. Envisioning that I had a cock and I was FUCKING HIM.

His orgasm was intense and prolonged. Once he had quieted, I rolled off, threw a towel at him and told him to get out.

I went to the bathroom, cleaned up and when I got back he had his clothes on. 

Again as he put his hand on the door knob, he said good night.

No, my Lovely Man Friend...

That was our last goodbye.

The Whole Truth

Nine Inch Nails Something I can never have
Uploaded by Nate_Perro

Purging

Okay friends. It's that time, when the relationship ends, that one needs to vent and get it all out.

This may make total sense to some, and yet be nothing but ramblings to others. And frankly my dear(s), I don't give a damn which category you fall into. This is a purge. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I asked for truth. First and foremost. Nothing too complicated in my opinion but something he couldn't give me. I gave LMF the truth because the truth is always easier. And what's more I had nothing to hide. If he didn't like me warts and all...

On the other hand, this whole relationship was based on a lie that made everything so convenient for LMF. It made him still a "good guy" and above the rest of the pack.

Recently a mutual friend of ours went through a very bad spot with her guy. And he railed, hemmed and hawed at her how the boyfriend was a total ass. That he had shit in his own bed, where he ate, worked and played. That the boyfriend had proven what kind of person he was. That our friend was foolish to take the boyfriend back.... and yet it was the same thing he had done to me. In a smaller scale. But yet the same thing.

This had been coming for some time. Maybe much longer than what I would care to admit.

Last week I realized I was no longer willing to be in a relationship in which I had to shove down feelings of more because it wouldn't be reciprocated. It took even me by surprise my response to him that night. His hand on the door saying goodnight and me telling him goodbye... and yet almost 7 full days drag on in which we try to keep it together. I, wanting to keep something that was so comfortable and non-threatening. LMF ... well, ask him his true motives because I don't believe a fucking thing he ever told me at this point.

So, I find out the truth. That he hadn't been fully truthful to me since the inception. Less than 3 wks in he started his deception.

The one thing that I asked him at the beginning of the relationship, which was nothing more than a FWB situation was that if he wanted to sleep with other women, that he tell me. I wasn't asking for him to be my boyfriend or give me a level of commitment that was unrealistic. I was just asking for the truth. 

All the while when I thought I had met a decent guy, someone I was becoming great friends with, a guy that gave me no reason to ever doubt his sincerity, a guy that seemingly everyone was friends with... I was sleeping with a sneaky bastard. Someone who started fucking another woman less than 3 wks in, without protection, coming back to me and not using protection consistently. He claims that he didn't sleep with anyone else because as he admitted to me "it wasn't for the lack of trying"... like that makes me feel any better.

And he had multiple times to come clean, a huge opportunity to be a bigger man and remove himself from the equation over the summer and yet he never did.

I guess the allure of the golden goose was too much for LMF to resist.

It's funny because my ex-husband time and time again hurt me with his lies when we were together. I would find them out, he'd admit it and more untruths I never suspected him of committing. It would wound me deeply but at least I knew what I was dealing with. It made it that much easier in the end because I had been battered by his lies and deceit so many times that I became numb... and the end of my marriage came with relative little upheaval. Being hit by your partner sucks but when you are so far removed from the situation, it was only bruises and marks on my flesh.

Now I feel raw, hurt, betrayed...

And the sick part... the person I have been hurt by so much is the person I want to turn to for comfort.

Glutton for punishment... yup, that's me.

Filter - Hey man nice shot
Uploaded by bbotiss

It's over

The end.

But I need someone to hold me in the worst way. 

And the one that had provided me with the most comfort in the past year and a half is the one that ultimately hurt me in the worst way.

Fire and brimstone.

Fucking Raw

Every nerve ending is screaming.

Every bit of my being is hurting.

I want for so much and yet I will push it away when it starts to reveal itself to me.

I don't blame him.

He's always been honest with me.

I don't blame myself either. 

How is one supposed to separate emotions and a relationship when you supposedly are growing closer?

Even the United States of America can separate church and state effectively.

But he can.

I wonder if it is easier having everything so compartmentalized?

I want love.

I want to love.

I want to be loved.

I want to have it not be one sided.

I had told him this... I thought. But never said those exact words to him before.

I did last night.

He loves me but is not in love with me.

I didn't expect him to profess his undying devotion but I never expected him to answer the question of, "Do you feel any more deeply attached to me than you did 6 months ago?" with a straight face, looking me directly in the eyes he answered me no.

I pushed him away and yet every time he withdrew his embrace I almost begged him not to go.

We cried so much with one another that we felt as though we were both going to suffocate. The spent tissues still litter my bedroom floor. Like fallen hopes I dared not hope for.

And as the tears dried we made love. Slow and sweet. Kisses burning my skin. His lips on mine. Smoldering.

As he entered me, my tears began to flow again. And I rode the waves of an impending orgasm almost the entire time. We rolled over in our comfortable pattern with me on top.

 

As my orgasm built, I cried out that I was about to cum and he turned on my bed side lamp and watched my face as I came. My face slick with fresh tears once again. His as well.

For the next 2 hours we slept tightly curled around one another.

We both acknowledged that when we woke up, for a split second we thought, we hoped that last night was a bad dream (but we knew otherwise).

Neither one of us wants to let go but at the same time neither one of us wants to go through this again.

As he was about to leave my legs gave way and I slumped down. He followed me to the floor and we held onto one another while our tears and kisses mingled.

He said, "We'll do this another day."

I asked him what he meant and he replied, "Break up."