Photo Shoot

Tomorrow.

Girl friend. Wine and yummy food. Lots of various outfits. Corset, stockings and garters, plush robe, nothing at all. Some of my fantasies hoped to be captured.

Will update with the final product after all is said and done.

Rode it for an hour and a half...

and was left wanting more.

The vibration between my legs. Squeezing my thighs in anticipation. The rush an going faster. Leaning into it. Holding onto him for dear life.

Trusting him. Chanting in my own head, "Just follow him. Believe in his ability. You don't need to control a thing". And then the release... the certain point where I no longer was trying to do anything but just be present in the moment. And the sublime bliss that enveloped me as our bodies began to meld and our actions we're coordinated. Nothing verbal, everything guided by the physical touch.

God, I love being on a motorcycle. I can't wait to climb back on it again. How I would love for it to be my own... someday.

Just incase you wanted to know...

I am just about to ovulate.

My right ovary feels as though it will explode at any moment.

Mittelschmerz is german for "middle pain".... I'd like a man to experience this.

Lip Smackin' Good

There is nothing better than a freshly made glass of lemonade.

Lemons so tarts that your face is in danger of imploding upon itself.

And if you add in fresh crushed strawberries, picked from your own garden, you have something that is close to heaven.

Strawberries so sweet that you could sweeten the Grinch's steely black heart with only their sweet, sweet fragrance.

And the best part about said strawberry lemonade was making it with a friend and enjoying a quiet movie night together.

The little things can make you so happy sometimes.

Bald, bare, devoid of hair.

And how sexy is this?

These women (although mainly for movie roles) dared to bare their scalps. Their characters - strong. It drips from every pore. Even Kylie Minogue who shaved her head because of her breast cancer diagnosis - STRONG.

But lets get down to it... Bald on a man is acceptable. Bald on a woman is what........... ??

American society places such value on beautiful locks. The longer the hair, the sexier? But it causes people's hair to stand on end at the very thought of a woman without.

We have "acceptable" reasons to be bald: illness, cancer, genetic condidtion. And then we pity those poor women who are without tresses. Pity? I think not. I think those women shouuld be held up and supported during their struggle. During their fight. Or reverred as the goddess they are... with or without hair.

Yes, I love my hair. If I did not have a gnarly scar upon my noggin, well... you might spy be with a Bic'ed head.

Motivation to get sweaty

No, not talking about sex... you perve.

Lifted almost 40k lbs of the weight machines. Did 3 miles on the elliptical. Sat in the sauna afterwards and just melted everything away.

I am sore. And I feel great about it.

And as I was on the glute press machine the memory of Young Stud coming up behind me and whispering in my ear, "That's one way to work that fine ass of yours..." came flooding back to me. That was almost a year ago. It's still one helluva motivator.

Insight

This is an email that I sent to my LMF as we re-adjust our relationship to no longer include sex...

I too will be aroused by you for a long time. I know I have tried to convey this to you, but hear me out now. Even if it is repetitive... You did not make me feel like a piece of meat, used or degraded in any way. And that means the world to me. It opened a while new avenue as far as sexual relations are concerned for me.

I never shared this with you because I wasn't sure how you'd receive it. If it would overload our precarious arrangement...

When I was 16 years old, I was drugged and degraded, taken advantage of, fucked, treated like than less than a piece of meat... I was raped. And for the longest time I took it upon myself that it was my fault. Even within the context of my marriage, I was dirty and shamed for it because it was his friends that violated me. He always saw it as the girl who cried foul because of remorse. He never saw more than what his own male ego allowed him to. It wasn't until the very end that he finally heard, felt, saw my rage ... and it wasn't until the end that I was able to work past it.

And then there was/is you, my LMF... the first relationship, that was sexual, but one that never made me feel threatened. That empowered me in a way. I was trying to lead the conversation to this when we were on the phone but am glad that I didn't because just recalling everything and putting it into words is tough enough. I don't know if I could actually say it out loud as I am typing it here.

So with just typing this... POOF... it all make a bit more sense in my head. The emotions I have for you are there. Yes. I won't deny it. But I am much more attached to what you brought to me and my own sense of sexual well being. Sex without being threatened. Sex without the slightest hesitation. Sex with absolute trust and confidence in you, in my partner.

Thank you for that.

You'd fuck me until I bled...

but you won't fuck me when I am bleeding?

I want to know why some men are totally terrified by a woman when she is bleeding?

That's gross.















No way.















Red wings aren't for me.










It's dirty.

Then there are all the taboos associated with it. That menstrual blood is unclean. That it will suck the essences from a man. That it is wrong, bad, you'll go to hell.

But a woman is supposed to suck a cock dry? A woman is supposed to be demure and chaste... except for when a man wants to fuck her in the ass? Don't get me started with the whole wanting a Suzy Homemaker exterior for everyone to marvel at in public and the dirty whore only when he says so thing... we'd be here for hours.

With my ex it was a definite no-go (the the dirty, gross, wrong comments above... they are his). But with the LMF, he doesn't mind. "It's a bit of fluid. Excellent lubrication. So what? We'll get in the shower afterwards... or do it in the shower."

One of the hottest moments was when the LMF's and my relationship was brand new. My first moon-time. Horny as hell but not feeling comfortable having sex. We were making out, lots of heavy petting. My head felt like it was going to spin off my shoulders, I was so dizzy with lust. I wound up giving him a blow job and he turned himself so he could keep on teasing me, through my clothes. Biting and blowing hot air on my crotch. Massaging and stroking me. Finally he reached into my pants and got a hold of my clit still encased in my panties. I came so hard. All the while still attending to his unit. After that, my moon-time has become the guaranteed time to be together and not need a pleasure robber. ;)

I have come to love to fuck someone and be fucked when I am bleeding. Feeling him inside of be when every bit of me is so full. It reminds me of the gift, the true gift I have as a woman, to be able to bear children (not that I want any more than I already have!!). I know that I will NOT get pregnant if he cums inside of me. And ladies and gents, I love it when a man cums inside of me. To receive him so totally, fully, completely. To feel his dick spasm as it unloads... delicious.

So bottom line, it doesn't matter the time of the month. Sex is sex. It should be done as long as both parties are willing. So what if there is a little more clean up involved? Fuck me like you would at any other time of the month. Just because my juices run red doesn't mean they aren't as warm, inviting, lucious as when they aren't crimson. Get over your hang ups. Get over yourself already. And get a warm, wet towel for the clean up afterwards. ;-P













Bonus Link for the BRAVE

Moon Time

And I am grateful.

Have you seen the cover of ...

Popular Mechanics?

There is a little snippet on Mythbusters just teasing me. I cannot wait until it's my turn to have the magazine all to myself!

Confession time... I loves me some Jamie Hyneman.

The voice is enough to drive me wild. His bald head... yum! I want to rub it, kiss it, lick it and then shave it for him! He's super smart, which is super sexy. And what about the facial hair?? That is one moustache I would love to ride for hours on end!

Now back to regularly scheduled programming....

Irony

I don't care for the type of condoms my LMF prefers. Trojan-Enz. Pretty Tiffany blue colored wrapper. The last few times we were intimate, I was left feeling... well, ouchie afterwards. Irritated. No fun.

So being the eternal knowledge seeker I am, I find a plethora of different info about rubbers (more aptly known as pleasure robbers) and find out that this particular type have nonoxynol-9 spermicide, which can be rather imitative, does not protect against some STD's and may actually increase the rate of transmission of HIV and AIDS. So, because my LMF and I are both disease free (tested and proven to be as such) and our reason for using the jimmy hat is purely to prevent pregnancies, I decided to try and find a better rubber.

Now this was before the recent feelings of drifting away from my LMF had begun to surface.

I really didn't just want to start buying blind. It's been a while since I had to shop for these things. Luckily a friend told me that several prophylactic companies will send you free samples. I just love free stuff. So, I put my name on a couple mailing lists and awaited my free NO MORE BABY jimmy hats.

And wouldn't you know it... Trojan sent me ...

What a kick in the (proverbial) nuts!! Know anyone who wants a free condom?? I know I will never use it.

Changing of the guard?

My LMF comes home tonight from a week long trip.

We have no plans to see one another.

He asked if I would come over on Thursday night, which I declined. I am tired to driving the 25 minutes home in the dead of night only to have to get up at 5am.

He half heartedly offered Saturday evening. I work Sunday morning. Again I declined.

I feel as though the tides are changing. And I feel as though this isn't one sided. The 7 months we have shared have been good.

I wonder if we will still be on good enough terms to tolerate each other when we fly to the Caribbean for a week long getaway? I hope so...

What I need

The contrast of the soft supple flesh against the coarseness of the ropes, the structure of the knots...

The beautiful artwork, the gorgeous bodies, the exquisite photography...

I need to find #1 someone to tie me up like this. And #2 someone to take pictures of me bound.

He didn't lay a finger on me.

It's amazing that words, thoughts, a few images, and my own sweet touch can do so much for me.

An orgasm ripping through me like never before. Knowing that he is waiting for it as well. Knowing that as much I am I enjoying it, he too is waiting to hear me, watch me, taste me, feel me cum. Wishing there weren't the miles between us. And yet feeling safe because of them.

A bit risqué, a bit naughty but at the same time feeling confident and sure of myself and my actions.

I love being able to write this.

I love being a woman.